just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
