Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
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