Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
