if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
