would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize