If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
