it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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