I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
The feeling are messing with the penis
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
