He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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