how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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