"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
