why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Actions speak louder than pants.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I'm having to shit out rocks
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
