I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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