she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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