my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
