Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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