Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
