Pants 0. Shit 1.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
