They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
