the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
