she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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