After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
