Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
