I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
