today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
