Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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