It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Come on in and take your pants off
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