I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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