Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
