Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry fluffergnome359 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...

Fav 59 1120 5451
share tweet
(205): View more from Alabama

When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'

Fav 26 7279 1387
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(901): View more from Tennessee

You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

Fav 17 5780 1366
share tweet
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.

Fav 30 4325 2524
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.

Fav 5 2471 931
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob

Fav 13 3083 948
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(905): View more from Ontario

Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell

Fav 3 1668 749
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(712): View more from Iowa

I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...

Fav 3 556 688
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?

Fav 0 17 41
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT