Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
