This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
