Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
