you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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