i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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