I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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