i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
