my room smells like sperm. sweet.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
