he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize