I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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