just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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