Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
