A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
wrigley field is MILF paradise
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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