trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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