Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize