I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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