she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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