I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
