Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
