Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Randomize
