And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
