It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
