On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
