how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
