I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
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