ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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