google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
