Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Randomize
