Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
