Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Shame - the story of my life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize