i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
